So many people, me included, have all of these hopes and dreams in life. You may dream of being a big celebrity or a crazy rich and savvy business person. Or maybe you just dream of being able to provide a little more for your family. Maybe you dream of more chill and less freak out. Maybe you dream of moving to a new city or taking more vacations. Whatever your dreams may be, why aren’t you doing them? What is holding you back today? You may have all of these hopes and dreams but what have or are you actually doing each day to make them a reality?
I want to tell y’all a story. A few years ago, someone close to me had lost her way. Now this has always been a larger than life, please try to tell me no and see what I do, kind of person. For a whole list of crazy reasons, she got to a point in her life where everything was so out of order that she couldn’t imagine where to start to get her life back on track. I watched this person that I love dearly continue to spiral for years. I was positive and tried to be helpful but that didn’t change anything. I set my boundaries and for a time cut this person out of my life thinking that this would shock her into getting back on track but that didn’t even work. I was completely out of ideas to help her. Finally, I decided I was done helping and let it go. She spiraled a little more then she started trying to find her way back to who she really wanted to be. I saw these small gestures towards what she was wanting to get back and tried to be supportive. Always just a phone call away for advice or perspective. One day she said she wanted to move to the city where I lived. This was only about two hours away from where she was living and we had a good support system at the time so I offered to have her live with me and get back on track. She came, she got a job, she started running in her free time, she helped with the house and the dogs, and everything was ok. Ok, but not great. She was still in a rut and even though she had started to climb out she was still but a shell of the person that she was before. It drove me crazy to watch this person just go through the motions because I knew how great she could be and what a life she could really live. I had watched her do it my whole life. She was the person that dared someone to tell her no just to prove them wrong. She was the person that told me I could be anything as long as I put my mind to it. She was the person always pushing for more and better and still more. She loved to live. She truly lit up a room when she walked it. People would ask who she is and how they could get to know her. She was everything that you hear people say that want to be and she did it so effortlessly. So why now could she not find herself? Why couldn’t she get herself out of this hole she had dug? Anyone who knows me knows that I can be super supportive when those close to me have a problem. However, once they have acknowledged a way to get out of whatever it is and they simply choose not to, I don’t have a filter or tolerance for all that. Seriously, if you see your way out and don’t take it…that’s just lazy to me. Bless their hearts but those closest to me get this kick in the butt more than any of them would like to admit from me. I also expect the same from them. So this person is living in my house and my niece comes over to hang out. She was just a baby so we have a nice dinner and decide that we are going to take her for a walk around the neighborhood in her stroller. We are walking and this person s talking about things are so difficult and I wish this and I wish that and I had just had it. I couldn’t hold it in anymore so I said, “enough”. I am sick and tired of hearing the could’ve, would’ve, should’ve story. What’s done is done and it’s time to get off your butt and remember who you are. Then I proceeded to remind her of who she truly is. This was the first time that I had really cut off all of the excuses that she was spouting all the time and told her to get over it. Quit whining and do something about it. Not everyone appreciates this kind of in your face, get over it approach but I had tried everything else and I was just over it. I did not expect the reaction that I got from her. She stopped walking, turned around to me and said, “you’re right”, “what the heck am I doing?”. I was a little shocked and very pleased. I told her I loved her but I wasn’t going to sit around and watch her disappear into this shell of a person. With all of that out in the open it felt like a fresh start for both of us. Instead of her coming up with excuses and me feeling frustrated we had a truly open dialogue. We were finally at a place to really have a conversation about how to get her back to who and where she wanted to be. We talked and talked and talked… Fast forward to today and she is back to that crazy, dare me and I’ll do it person. She’s back on her feet and achieving all of her personal and professional goals. She is no longer afraid to just do and just be. She reminds me every day to just do it. To take a breath and find my courage and do what makes me happy and fulfilled. She’s back.
I can honestly say that if this woman can come back from where the hole she had put herself in and be better than ever then none of us have an excuse to not live our best lives. Get off that couch! Get out of the house! Stop making excuses or finding reasons that something won’t or can’t work and freaking try! Everyone can reach their dreams or goals. Every person has it in them to be everything and more than what they dream of. The difference in those who do and those who don’t is that those who do believe they can. You can!!
So what do you want to do? Who have you helped remember who they are or what they can do? How have you helped someone? How has someone helped you? #SouthernMorningCoffee